Do my work for me!
I know some of you have seen Dancing With Gaia, and I’m having a hard time coming up with the two sentence summary for the press kit.
This is what I’ve got now, which I don’t especially care for:
DANCING WITH GAIA is a DV movie about the quest to find oneself through swing dancing and hippie craziness. The story follows Zoe through her journey while trying to do things with potato salad.
Any ideas on how better to sum up the film in two sentences? Your assistance is appreciated!
Good Old Rock - Nothing Beats That 
I think I would take out the phrase “hippie craziness.” Also, you say “quest” and “journey” and they mean the same thing. If you’ve got two sentences, you shouldn’t repeat yourself.
Perhaps you should in a few words convey something of Zoe’s character. And is it Zoe’s quest to find herself through swing dancing or is it how a culturally diverse group of people find themselves through swing dancing. Man, if I’d seen the movie I could come up with a beautiful two-sentence summary… but alas, all I can do right now is criticize the vagueness of the description you’ve written.
As it stands now, I wouldn’t want to go see the movie if I didn’t know you and the people in your movie and didn’t love swing dancing. You have to avoid cliches and generalizations. You have to hook people with something really specific. “Trying to do things..” for instance, is very vague. And is it really what your piece is about? I know you’re making an absurd joke in a sense, but if you want people to take your work seriously, you have to take your audience seriously.
Hope that’s helpful, if scathing.
I think I would take out the phrase “hippie craziness.” Also, you say “quest” and “journey” and they mean the same thing. If you’ve got two sentences, you shouldn’t repeat yourself.
Perhaps you should in a few words convey something of Zoe’s character. And is it Zoe’s quest to find herself through swing dancing or is it how a culturally diverse group of people find themselves through swing dancing. Man, if I’d seen the movie I could come up with a beautiful two-sentence summary… but alas, all I can do right now is criticize the vagueness of the description you’ve written.
As it stands now, I wouldn’t want to go see the movie if I didn’t know you and the people in your movie and didn’t love swing dancing. You have to avoid cliches and generalizations. You have to hook people with something really specific. “Trying to do things..” for instance, is very vague. And is it really what your piece is about? I know you’re making an absurd joke in a sense, but if you want people to take your work seriously, you have to take your audience seriously.
Hope that’s helpful, if scathing.
You have to hook people with something really specific. “Trying to do things..” for instance, is very vague. And is it really what your piece is about?
Yeah, what I posted was off the cuff and I am completely re-writing it. I was giving it as an example to display how crappy it was 🙂
But I appreciate the feedback and am looking over it. Thanks!
I already did my part, I can’t be doing all this stuff for you.
“Dancing with Gaia” follows Zoë’s Earth Goddess-inspired swing dance troupe from mishap-filled auditions to their “inspired” debut at the Dance Your Pants Off showcase.
or something.
and add in some generic moviequotespeak, like “riotously funny!”
hee hee.