Ebert’s review of Stealth

Oh my.

This review made me laugh so hard. This has got to be one of the funniest movie reviews I’ve ever read.

Full review found here.

Some highlights:

‘Stealth” is a offense against taste, intelligence and the noise pollution code

In a movie that uses unexplained phrases like “quantum sponge,” why not just let the characters say “prime number” and not explain it? Many audience members will assume “prime number” is another one of those pseudo-scientific terms they’re always thinking up for movies like this.

Lightning strikes the UCAV, which goes nuts and starts to download songs from the Internet. “How many?” “All of them.”

Soon all four of them are having lunch, and the three pilots are discussing military secrets in front of the Thai girl, who “doesn’t speak English.” Beautiful Thai girls who allow themselves to be picked up by U.S. pilots almost always speak English, but never mind. It’s not that Purcell is too stupid to know that trusting her is dangerous; it’s that the movie is too stupid. How stupid? Nothing happens. The girl can’t speak English.

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~ by Matt Stratton on July 28, 2005.

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