Classic Pirate Post

Argh, on this most pirate-y of days, ye best be advised of the oppression ye pirates face from that most heinous of foes, Google:

This will be of interest to the pirate community at large, but also to anyone interested in civil rights.
Most of you are no doubt familiar with the Google search engine. It’s a fine site, to be sure, and one of the best features is that it’s available in a variety of languages , which makes it usuable by virtually anyone the world over.

When perusing the very large list of available languages, Erika and I noticed one language in particular missing; so we wanted to sign up as translators, but found that they weren’t even considering support for it. I wrote translation services about this:

From: Dallas Trinkle
Subject: New language suggestion: pirate
Date: Tue, 11 Jun 2002 15:55:32 -0400
Google translators,

I would like to applaud your very successful work in translating the google messages to a myriad of languages, making it accessible to as many people as possible. As you no doubt know, only 40% of internet users speak English as a first language.

I was hoping to help bridge another small, but noticeable language gap. The sea-faring pirate community is getting online more and more nowadays, but has trouble with an English language devoid of "arr"’s and "aye"’s, and with a proliferation of "my" over their preferred "me". Already facing a world which discriminates against those with only one remaining eye, hand, or leg, they need more coaxing than other groups.

That’s where I, and my colleague Ms. Buchholz, would like to offer our translation services. We have both read the translation style guide, and understand the legal terms laid out. We’re ready to begin, but alas, "pirate" was not listed as a language option.

As an example of our possible work, here are a few existing phrases on google, and possible pirate-friendly versions:

Original: Web
Pirate: The Web, arr!

Original: Images
Pirate: Aye, here be the Images!

Original: Google Search
Pirate: Find me some Google treasure, arr!

Original: Searched the web for xyz.
Pirate: Aye me matey, there be links about for xyz!

Original: I’m Feeling Lucky
Pirate: Booty off the port bow, arr!

We hope that such a small sample will convince you that without adequate translation, pirates the world over might not be able to use your valuable service. We also hope that you will allow us to extend a welcome hand to this important minority.

Arr, with a hopeful heart, and eyes a-forward,

Cpt. Dallas Trinkle and First Mate Erika Buchholz, H.M.S. Honeybunch.

The response we received was less than hopeful:

Thanks for your interest in our translation program. We really enjoyed your sample translations! At this time, however, we are not adding any more "joke" translations (even though we like your idea a lot!). We’ll keep your email on file in case we decide to add more.
Thanks again!

The Google Team

"Keep your email on file." Sounds like they’re trying to placate me with their form letters. Well I for one am making a stand for this minority group, right here, right now. If you’re with me, you’ll email translation services at google to register your displeasure.

Thank you for your time,


Definitely an oldie but a goodie. Every year on Talk Like A Pirate Day I think of   and think that this must be the most perfect of all days to be her.

~ by Matt Stratton on September 19, 2008.

4 Responses to “Classic Pirate Post”



  3. Bastards!

  4. aye. bastards they be.

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