I expected this to happen, just not so quickly

When we first decided to move to the suburbs, we made a lot of jokes about how we were going to have to do things like buy a trampoline to get our city friends to come visit us. Someone even honestly warned us that once we moved, nobody would ever want to come see us way out "in the country". We laughed and joked along.

Joke’s over, it seems.

I’ll be the first to admit that I probably haven’t done much in the way of reaching out to my friends back in the city. So maybe it’s my fault. But I can’t help but feel that since we left, we’ve been forgotten about. Carrie’s friends actually do make an effort to include her even though we live out in the middle of nowhere. They’ve even come to see our house. But for me, the only friends of mine that I’ve seen since we’ve moved are the ones who already live in the suburbs.

I’m doing a bad job of adjusting to this. Once the adjustment is complete, it’ll be fine. I was hoping that when we moved out here, I’d be able to reconnect with my old friends who live in the suburbs. But I haven’t done that. I seem to have lost my friends from the city. And my other friends all live in different towns now and we can’t afford to go see them.

I’m feeling sorry for myself, I know. And I have no right to – I have a great job,  a great house, a great wife, and a great dog. And anyone who knows me knows that I don’t deal with transitions well, but once they are over, I do manage to land on my feet.

But right now it just feels full of suck.

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~ by Matt Stratton on November 23, 2008.

3 Responses to “I expected this to happen, just not so quickly”

  1. *hugs*

    I’d come and visit, if you weren’t way up there! (;

  2. I have to admit, I never see people once they move out of the city but that mainly has to do with the fact that I don’t have a car. The time I would spend to get there via public transportation is almost as long as it would take for me to take Amtrak to see my family in Springfield.

    I’ll give you a shout for lunch next time I’m downtown, though!

  3. I’m sure you already know all of this, but sometimes it helps to hear it from someone else anyway…

    Moving is hard. And it’s mainly hard because of how it affects your friendships. I’d say you have a right to whine about that a little.

    I’ve been through the business of moving away from an area and back, thinking you could reconnect with old friends, and it doesn’t happen. I made the effort to get it going, but it was a lot of effort, with little return, and I quickly got tired of making it. It’s very disappointing, but it’s also very normal.

    Some women do have their groups of girls that go to more effort than people usually will to get together, at least for a while. Tighter than most families. It sounds like Carrie’s lucky enough to have one of those. But even for women, people who have those groups are probably the minority, and I’ve never heard of the same thing with guys.

    I guarantee you’re not forgotten. Your friends think about you, and probably talk about you when they get together. Some things they do are less fun without you, and they feel it. Just like you think of them.

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